Day Forty Eight: Eduardo’s Road To Fitness

I am now at what must be the most frustrating stage of learning a language.  It is the stage where you tend to understand what is being said and you try to reply to a question but instead of saying “Yes I would love another cup of coffee” what you actually say sounds like “ yes what fat ankles you have, is your father a whimsical fairy?”

Yesterday I simply had to go for a run.  The frustration of being laid low for four days with a cold coupled with the aforementioned language difficulties was causing so much stress that the desire to run overcame the desire to drink hot lemon tea with honey and sit on the sofa watching CNN.

CNN was also slowly killing me.

I was watching a chap wearing a brightly coloured tie and a dark suit that was way too big for him.  He was talking about the current economic crisis.  His tie should have given the game away.  My dad told me never to take a man seriously if he did not know how to knot his tie properly.  He also told me that if I was ever sitting in a doctor’s waiting room and noticed that all the pot plants were dead that I should leave. This has nothing to do with this blog entry but it is amusing.   Anyway back to this CNN chap. He was trying to explain what was happening on Wall Street. I think he had consumed a cocktail of powerful, mind-altering drugs for he had absolutely no idea what was going on. Inspite of this, he felt compelled to offer an explanation as to why the stock markets had lost ‘x’ percent on Monday and then gained ‘y’ percent  on Tuesday.

I left the house to avoid death by CNN and went for a run.

It was pretty hot outside.  The temperature gauge in the car was reading 30 degrees.  Of course it was sitting in the sun, which means it was probably about twenty-four degrees or so.  Still pretty hot though.

In my infinite wisdom I decided that because I was only going to run for thirty minutes I could do without a water bottle.  I also decided that I did not need a cap or sunglasses.  One of these days I will learn.  It may take having to build a temporary shelter from the sun and having to drink my own urine to survive, but one day I will learn to take water with me on a run.

Apart from suffering de-hydration the run was great.  Like I said, it was hot.  It was sunny and it looked rather picture perfect.  The sea was calm, small boats were moored off-shore and the cycle path was full of random people on the wrong sized bikes wearing boating shoes, ancient cycle helmets and brightly coloured plastic vests.  What was going on?

I figured out that there was some sort of event being staged.  It must have been organized by a large company, some sort of team building thing for the staff.  In the interests of safety they were all made to wear brightly coloured plastic vests.  I felt sorry for the younger, hip crowd, for they were obviously acutely aware of how ridiculous they looked.  I spotted one guy wearing what appeared to be something that Basil Faulty would wear when going on holiday.  It was a tweed jacket with a strange matching cap.  His trousers were tucked into his khaki socks.  He was riding a small girls bike with plastic tassels hanging from the handlebars.  Fantastic.

I started thinking about some of the classic Faulty Tower episodes and it put a smile on my face.  It also made the thirty minutes fly by and in no time at all my run was finished.

Tomorrow I have a longer run planned.  I am also due to weigh myself to see what is going on.  I have a feeling I have shed more weight as when I tried my suit on it felt rather loose, which means if all else fails, I can at least apply for a job at CNN.  I am sure I can make up some drivel about the current economic crisis and I can probably avoid having to take mind-altering drugs to do so.

I leave you with a classic piece of footage from Faulty Towers.  I can sympathize with Basil.

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